Saturday, November 17, 2018

Hardcore Twenty-Four - Janet Evanovich (Penguin - Oct 2018)

Series: Stephanie Plum (Book 24)

Trouble comes in bunches for Stephanie Plum. First, professional grave robber and semi-professional loon, Simon Diggery, won’t let her take him in until she agrees to care for his boa constrictor, Ethel. Stephanie’s main qualification for babysitting an extremely large snake is that she owns a stun gun -- whether that’s for use on the wandering serpent or the petrified neighbors remains to be seen.

Events take a dark turn when headless bodies start appearing across town. At first, it’s just corpses from a funeral home and the morgue that have had the heads removed. But when a homeless man is murdered and dumped behind a church Stephanie knows that she’s the only one with a prayer of catching this killer.

If all that’s not enough, Diesel’s back in town. The 6-foot-tall, blonde-haired hunk is a man who accepts no limits -- that includes locked doors, closed windows and underwear. Trenton’s hottest cop, Joe Morelli isn’t pleased at this unexpected arrival nor is Ranger, the high-powered security consultant who has his own plans for Stephanie.

As usual Jersey’s favorite bounty hunter is stuck in the middle with more questions than answers. What’s the deal with Grandma Mazur’s latest online paramour? Who is behind the startling epidemic of mutilated corpses? And is the enigmatic Diesel’s sudden appearance a coincidence or the cause of recent deadly events?

Fast and fun read. It has all the usual high points. Grandma Mazur gets into some difficulty that Stephanie needs to rescue her from, while Stephanie's mom wonders what will happen next. There's some really strange criminal activity going on that Stephanie ends up in the middle of. Lula is typically headstrong and most concerned with how things will affect her. Morelli is overworked, but always up for a good time with Stephanie. Ranger is Stephanie's go-to when she's in trouble and is a steady supplier of the cars that Stephanie goes through at the rate of at least two a book. The mysterious Diesel also makes an appearance in this book, with an agenda of his own that may also be tied into the zombie issue. But somehow, there's always a feeling of, if not freshness, at least "what will she come up with next."

This one opens with Stephanie after her latest FTA, Simon Diggery, a professional grave robber. She has no trouble finding him but has to promise to snake-sit his boa constrictor, Ethel, before he agrees to turn himself in. This includes making sure that Ethel gets fed every day, leading to some pretty interesting situations. I've never pictured a boa eating pizza or rotisserie chicken before, but somehow Stephanie made it seem perfectly logical. But the one that had me laughing out loud involved a roadkill groundhog and one of Ranger's cars:

“Bad news,” I said. “It’s about your Lexus.”

“One of my patrol cars drove by it an hour ago and said it was being circled by vultures.”

“There was an unfortunate incident with a dead groundhog.”

“I didn’t see that one coming,” Ranger said. “How bad is it?”

“There are vultures circling. How bad do you think it is?”

Silence.

“You’re laughing again, aren’t you?” I asked him.

“Do I need to send someone in a hazmat suit?”

“Yes.”

“Do you need another car? I’m running a tab.”

While on one of their snake-feeding runs, Stephanie and Lula have an encounter with what appears to be a couple of zombies. This ties in with the current crime wave stalking Trenton's Burg, where dead bodies are turning up without their heads. When the heads are eventually located, the brains have been removed. Morelli and his fellow cops are at a loss because of a lack of leads, and the bodies are piling up. Another one of Stephanie's FTAs appears to be involved somehow, which draws Stephanie into the middle of the problem. As the intensity of the zombie attacks increase, a link between Stephanie's FTA, Diesel's mission, and the zombie situation is discovered. I loved the scene as Diesel and Ranger plan the takedown:

It was going to be my decision to risk my brain for the cause. The way I saw it I was going to look like an idiot if I was in, and a jerk if I wasn't.

"Babe?" Ranger said.

I blew out a sigh. "I'm in. What's my role?"

Diesel grinned. "You have a choice. You can be the stupid inferior female or the stupid powerful female."

"How about if I'm just myself?"

Diesel glanced at Ranger. "I'm not going to touch that one."

Ranger shook his head. "I'll pass."

"Funny," I said. "Very funny."

The cemetery scene was exciting and funny but left one thread hanging. That thread was pulled a short time later in another good scene. I thought Stephanie handled that one quite well. It also gave a satisfying wrap-up to Diesel's mission, while leaving open the likelihood that he will be back.

Grandma Mazur is always one of my favorite characters in these books. She has quite a unique outlook on life and is determined to live it on her terms. I love that she's always ready to give Stephanie a hand on one of her cases, though her "help" is often questionable in its effectiveness. She is also on the lookout for her next boyfriend, which often gets her into trouble. This one happened to be found on an online dating site and provides an interesting lesson on the hazards of such sites. As is usually the case, it fell to Stephanie to save Grandma from the consequences of her actions, which Grandma accepts easily.

Lula is always funny with her ex-'ho attitude and her unique fashion sense. One of my favorite things about her is that she is always ready to help Stephanie in whatever she does. Lula does seem to have two speeds: either hang back and see how it goes or charge in at full speed and to hell with the consequences. I thoroughly enjoyed her point of view on zombies and her certainty that they were after her created some fun situations. The scene where she was touched by one was a riot.

As always, Stephanie's romantic entanglements are complicated. Morelli is her steady on again, off again relationship. As a cop, he's usually on the opposite side of the situations that Stephanie finds herself in, but he's there for her when he's needed. They profess to love each other, but neither is interested in taking it to a more permanent level. There is definitely some competition between Morelli and Ranger. Ranger is the mysterious and studly bad boy who also has a thing for Stephanie. He is protective of her but also doesn't do commitments. The chemistry between him and Stephanie is always strong. Stephanie always feels a bit guilty about her reactions to him, but not enough that it stops her. Diesel is the most recent addition to Stephanie's string of men. He is mysterious, good-looking, and there are more than a few sparks between them. Stephanie is never sure if she's going to be able to resist his advances, and isn't certain that she wants to. While I often feel she should pick one and cut the other's loose, each one of them has a special place in her life.

Bottom line is that I will continue to read the books, just because I can't wait to see what she will come up with next.
 


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